random mood swing #1

it's the feeling of:
you're surrounded by people
but yet you are still alone

I've forgotten how friends understand each other
be open and tolerate each other
I think I've found something, someone important
and it makes me wonder if I threw away the rest


I ache to feel burning, raging fury
for the simple easy way of feeling
alive
its cheating




twisted and mangled, thoughts on an empty stomach
about confidence, poise and feminity
about stereotypes and being selectively open-minded
is it fair? it is not. but isn't it something called life?
must we give in? no, that's too easy.
nothing is nothing without a fight.
what do we do, in this struggle to validate our existence
we depend on others, we want people to look at us,
notice us and praise us to make us feel good about ourselves
I just wonder why.





perhaps I should write.

oh well. time for bed.
*rubs eyes*



-*