sigh

its happening again.

what I said I didn't want to happen again.
sometimes I wonder if it was like that from the start.
and as usual I have too much pride
I'm stubborn and selfish
I don't look or seem like the kind who has problems expressing myself.
I can type it out perfectly fine.
but actually saying it is difficult
I wonder, if its because it makes it all too real









I probably never really believed myself.
I wonder if I've ever felt anything since a long time ago
its cold inside here
where I think





if everyone demanded as much attention back from me, I would probably have no friends left.
and nope,
I really don't open up to people.

not at all.
there are a million things I might have to say
but silence is much easier
writing in circles
unraveling myself





when I finally have enough courage
no one's listening anymore