am I not human?
oh yea, right, I'm anni. great.
there's probably a gazabillion excuses I could still give.
can I not be me? >=|

I miss being called anmin, and the times I still felt real while rejecting my middle name, instead of adopting it out of convenience and fear of people mangling up my name










sigh

a new year, another term of school.
I seriously need to chill.
and that's because I really don't understand why I'm angry at you being angry at me. is it fair? is it because I said I was sorry and I meant it and yet you were still angry? The only wrong I will admit to is - forgetting to turn my phone on loud when I told you to give me a call and I forgot to keep track of time being absorbed into my readings. I'll try not to do it again but would you please not make me feel like I was the worst person in the world just because I wasn't perfect for that moment or two? who the fuck doesn't get a few missed calls on their phone? I want to yell and pull my hair out, and my face stings where the salt got to it, because I was so frustrated I could cry.

and scream. I want some ice cream.
I want to go running in the rain and feel like it will wash me clean.
of course, singapore rain. and thats because


rain in Michigan really sucks like hell.
just snow, dammit, stop whining and slushing around already.
and the Attack of the Biology Drowsiness has started! [note to self: never sleep later than 1am] holy jumpin' cows, I could do with some caffiene, that psuedo happy mood generator. life sucks, take drugs, eh.


what I want to do this year?
I want to try and carve out an inkling of my future
so it is tangible even though still cold to the touch
I want to grow














only taller, not sideways, lah.


-*