Thursday, May 31, 2007

gorgeousity

its just gorgeous to be a girl, a woman, whether you are single, married, attached, pregnant, widowed, or what, promiscuous.

currently I'm in a mood.
a mood.
one in which I begin to hate people one by one, slowly adding to the numbers, listing their faults, and ending up hating everyone... then I start thinking about the excepts - except my family, except my somebody, except my good friend, except my this other friend... yea.

it ends up with me hating nobody, really, but myself.
and being biologically a woman.
because I HATE PMS!!!



sometimes I hate men because being a woman seems so much harder than being a man - damned patriarchal society - yet women like to be pampered by men, made to feel secure snuggling in their arms, all this while men think -whatever- in their minds (haha what?)

random ramblings, only the tip of the iceberg on the thoughts I have about girls and boys, the birds and the bees, feminism, feminity and masculinity - why do humans have to think?




...


oh well.
on a good note, I had a TERRIFIC birthday. I may have gone to work and went back home for dinner on my birthday, but I still managed to celebrate with people who mean much to me. so much. I don't understand how, but the celebrations lasted a week!!! a WEEK! I am touched. I suddenly realized that I have many friends - many different, mutually exclusive groups of friends - and I'm glad. I've spent a good week with good people who were so willing to give, even though I think I've never done anything much for them. so I must learn to give.



It's amazing to me, because I am horrible with other people's birthdays, and as for presents, I never give them on time - because I believe in being able to give a real, sincere present that I think will suit them based on what I know of them (so therefore I never get things for people I hardly know...) and why the HECK should I restrict present giving to birthdays?! (just like, love and chocolate giving on v-day?) so... therefore.


THANKYOU.
THANKYOU.
THANKYOU.
I had a good one.



great shopping, food, sushi and music ;p

now all thats "left" is to meet with novella and dX.
woots.
to bed, to work tomorrow.

lots of love!

(see how the mood swings?!)


-*

Thursday, May 24, 2007

home.

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yes, I've been home for a while. HOME! glorious. I've talked to many people, walked around quite a little, and I've forgotten totally what was the excuse for me to do some self-exhibition on this blog. perhaps some other day I'll grumble a little about how silly I feel, blogging, spewing words... and the people who read it, I don't really care about? so why do some of them care?

and, bloody hell, WHY is singapore so HOT?!
jetlag was nothing but a really good night of sleep (omg 3pm can :3) in the face of my nocturnal habits. as usual. and now I realize I'm quite glad to be on the same clock as some friends. it makes chatting on msn, even, so much less strange. I guess I like to share the same night sky as yours. (I've got TWO copies of 8-bit. long story.)


hokay, on with the reminisicing. whip out your silly fake glasses and pretend you're listening. plane rides take alone are good for some self reflection, away from certain circumstantial evils called the internet and socializing. ok, it was BORING. and I didn't even manage half of Neil Gaiman's American Gods. (hard book to read quickly, that one) Thus, coming to a proper conclusion, all prim and dandy, of my first year at Michigan: I really need to get away and do my own things more, and know more people. (Fine, you American!) I must know what I want. And this time, I don't want to just make it through University with the grades, with late night studying and uncertain motivations, and not knowing anyone as a true friend at all. (well, they did say your best friends will be those from secondary school, but who's to keep you from trying?)

also, why was studying so stressful? who said uni was easier than JC? imma kill him/her. oh hod, the self-discipline makes me want to cut myself. along the arm, thank you. but no. random spewing of gibberish would suffice. I must say I'm quite glad to be back home, but I am not glad to have nothing to do either, after letting my family see enough of my face for two weeks.

it is SO GOOD to be home, eating my granny's home-cooked food. nope, I didn't chiong for famous Singaporean foods, probably because I never had them often anyway... I love my granny, her cooking, her worrying, her. She's the person I missed the most. It's funny how your family sends you overseas, all alone, and doesn't know what the hell you are doing over there, and THEN - nag like crazy when you stay out till 12midnight. oh the PERILS of being a girl in Singapore. funny how family works, eh? it warms you up a great deal, but it annoys the hell out of you too.



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the first friends I met after I got back would be the rjcsb05 people - 050505 anniversary on 050507 was the greatest day ever, in such a long, long time. some people don't ever change, and some of it I am glad for, some of it... well. I still react the same way for - give the damn stupid boys a goddam slap. we had a hilarious time at the zoo not with animals but fellow humans, and a sweet night of drinking games (where we drank barely any alcohol for the goodness of us all)

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SYF'07 for rjcsb was... I don't know... but I know Mr. Oura and the band did a great job. and I know that the music still keeps me alive, the firey passion still burns under this cool skin. to us, the tension is tangible, and we still feel.
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I joined the flute boys and some geeks for lunch - our "non-capitalist outing" where they spent >$50 on ingredients and drinks. wonderful. we made our own calamari, fries, tacos and sandwiches and were very happy. we gossiped (guys are THE WORST) a little and watched random youtube vids. yuan de and paul are coming to michigan :3 and I am so not going to let them freeload, thank you very much.





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ON TO DA GIRLS!!!
ladies night we pounded clark quay! oh not really. not much you can pound with a couple of heels, uber light, tiny girls (hell not me), except perverting some toes, I guess? we had some satay to start the night, and we tried to figure out where in the world is Amsterdam? (and had an angmoh laugh at us. xx, good job.) don't ever go MOS or Clinic unless its free, or you can claim your FIVE free drinks, or Geographers if you wanna stay sane. Aticca is the BEST . birthday champagne for karen-chan, and great music to let your body go wild to. I would go back there, but perhaps not so soon, because, clubbing is tiring >_<

smile! me karen qy xx~
we chilled out, took lots of stupid photos (which karen still have NOT sent us) lounging around at kandibar. xx's nice haircut/dye is stupendously amazingly tri-coloured. makes me horribly envious and willing to subject my poor dry hair to more weird chemicals. for free.


I also met some people I don't know what to say to them - it's awkward, and in the end, nothing happens. And they never knew who I was, because I wouldn't have let them known, in that world of strange motivations and benevolences.

alright, sensible blog post ends here.


-*

random musings

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phantom of the opera! thai express ain't express.

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timbre~ with E.I.C. Mr. siva is pretty cool :) rock music, not overwhelming, boring long island tea, pretty good company of dajie, stitch and DW. meiji low-fat (o rly?) chocolate and coffee milk was gooooooood X)

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Zouk flea market! why do people need to fuckin' smoke INDOORS? seriously? even when you are shoulder to shoulder with others? t<_< why are people so frickin' ridiculous?

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wildwildwet and lounging around~ plus some wind-warping alternative Evangelion ending session with mc.

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shopping shopping shopping :3 pirates of the carribean 3 was funny. seriously bollocks!!! I hope the first 2 are like that too, so I can be stupid for a day when I watch them... but orlando bloom is... pweetty. so was that little boy who had the piece of eight. so pretty.

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back to RJC!

Friday, May 11, 2007

anger

ADfjAKDS:FjhasLFDKhs/dljgfkhs/ldkfhASLKD:hf
ANGRYYYYYYYYYYYYY
RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
JEALOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
like, NO NO NO NO NO NO
I don't wanna share :(
I've been a single child for 5 years and so there
RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I WANT MY OWN ROOM BACK
I WANT MY OWN BED BACK
RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
MOVE THE DAMN BUNK BED BY YOURSELF
ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY
SELFISH SELFISH SELFISHHHHH
RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

like, blek. *annoyed*
I know I shouldn't be, or that I should just, you know, be the @#$@#$ elder sibling and accept it and stop attempting to throw a bloody temtrum. I'm tempted to, but how bloody old am I??? silly childish thoughts.
*intense glare*

(the blog withers)






-*